…apparently, I'm meant to take a minute and stand on top.
If you've tuned into any news-ish platorm at all over the past week or so — you've likely read, seen, or are at least somewhat aware of recent suicides of young people, Ellen DeGeneres' plea, and/or the It Gets Better project.
So. Pretty early last Thursday morning, dipping in and out of email accounts and Facebook, trying to catch up on what had been happenin' since my out-of-the-loop Wednesday, I came across yet another posting of Ellen's video on a friend's wall. Comments that followed stopped me in my tracks.
In a nutshell, and among other things, it was argued that there's no bullying if there are no direct taunts or intended intimidation.
WHAT???? Those words rang louder than the tinnitus in my head all day: DIRECT TAUNTS, INTENDED INTIMIDATION.
INDIRECT TAUNTS and UNINTENDED INTIMIDATION is… better??? What is that? How do you DO THAT? That's pure crap. Taunting and intimidation is unacceptable. Period. Plain and simple.
I have to admit that I am not an expert on any of the cases — don't ask me for facts or particulars because I know nothing; neither am I always the shining example of a good human being – I try, but, you know, I'm human. Honestly, I don't think any of that really matters here — except that, perhaps, as a less than stellar human being I have learned that it is the INDIRECT and the UNINTENDED in almost any situation that can cause the most damage.
Suicides of young people in MY part of the world immediately come to mind — these losses are a DIRECT result of the same INDIRECT and UNINTENDED behavior. It is absolutely terrifying to imagine that number multiplied… and the possible multipliers are staggering, sobering… terrifying. I think of all my friends all over the country (the world!), each in their own "part of the world," and wonder how many of their communities have suffered similar losses? My head just won't go there… I can do the "math," but it does.not.compute. Oh these children… sons and daughters… sisters and brothers. They are loved and yet so tortured by the… direct? indirect? (does it matter?)… taunts and intimidation.
INDIRECT comments made about someone and UNINTENDED for their ears are made ONLY to be hurtful. They're for whispering, rumoring and innuendo-ing, for misunderstanding, for singling out and sideways glancing, laughing, pointing, making fun of… for taunting and intimidating. Someone always ends up hurt or crying – they SHOULDN'T END UP DEAD. They shouldn't end up feeling that there is no escape from such idiotic behavior other than taking their own lives. Oh, they are so vulnerable and fragile – if only these kids KNEW how much stronger they are compared to their truly weak and pathetic tormenters.
I wonder what would happen if everyone practiced being direct and intentional for a day. You know? Maybe some conversation would happen… maybe some kindness and understanding would occur.
What do you think? National Be Direct, Let's Talk About It, Be Kind, and Live With Intention Day!